Reblogged from Sarah Ockwell-Smith:

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This post relates to episode 2 of the series 'Bedtime Live' which aired on Channel 4 on Tuesday 26th of March 2013.

My aim with this series of posts is to show sleep deprived parents that there are many different ways to solve their child's sleep issues, all of these methods have pros and cons, just like those used on 'Bedtime Live', however my aim, in contrast to that of the programme, is to help parents to make an informed decision when coping with their child's sleep.

Read more… 2,317 more words

I haven't watched this series on the tv but this post makes me feel like the programme should really have had Sarah helping towards these families sleeping plans...

FTDYWB

It seems like this year has whizzed past. My second little one is now reaching his first birthday, and so it is exactly a year since i finished making Babyhood.

I can’t believe how much my life has changed, but also how much my film seems to have resonated with people throughout 2012, so much so that I am involved in a pilot scheme in my area which sets out to improve the life of children.  I am part of a government funded “co-design” group, and we have decided to create a series of drop-ins specifically focused on pregnant women, new mums and mums with little one’s under a year. We are also creating an alternative Bounty Pack, which will have a copy of my film in it.

As I live in Westminster in London, we are a very densely populated ward, and therefore we are trying to help all kind of women from different backgrounds. Some of them have great attitudes towards babies, some have forgotten how to listen to their instincts. It is a great challenge, but fascinating, as what is clear from every angle is that attachment theory is something that everyone needs to be better versed in. And that gives me great joy. We are at last starting to make a difference to the lives of our children and their lives as adults if we can help them at this vulnerable and so important stage of life.

:-)

 

What’s the difference between these two brains? – Telegraph.

 

OK – this is scary, and very important. Whatever you might think about these 2 images, it is clear that there is something fundamental being scientifically proven and illustrated.

I want to try to explain it in the terms it was explained to me, that made such an impact on me and the film I ended up making.

When we are born our brains are not developed to the extent they need to be to function as a social being. This “growing” happens from the moment we are born, through the interaction we receive with our carers, specifically our primary care-giver. Our brains need the love and care of a maternal, or paternal carer to connect and grow. This needs to happen from the moment we are born, or some would say the moment we are conceived.

It’s that simple.

This is what makes us go on to live our lives and determines how we function. By the age of 18 months we have learned a HUGE amount about the world and our brains have formed accordingly. If we haven’t felt love our brain literally doesn’t grow, I imagine it is a little like a flower withering. This is tragic.

As Suzanne Zeedyk has said about the debate surrounding this article :

That debate shows us, once again, that it is one thing for us (as a society) to know this information.  It is another thing to think about what it feels like to know this information.  The debate in response to this article gives a very good sense of how unsettling the information can be.

It has made me want to try to define LOVE in those first few months and years. It has made me want to help people, especially mothers, who may not have felt love, to feel it and therefore start to give it to those around them. How does it feel to be neglected like that? It pains me to even begin to imagine how many people haven’t been shown love by each preceding generation. How do we break the cycle?

And most of all for all those babies out there being born every minute of every day, can we start to do our best to show them what Love is?

‘Forget buying must-have toys, give the kids a box for Christmas’ – Health – News – London Evening Standard.

This is the second article that has come to my attention, and I would really like to hope that it might make an impact on the pockets of parent’s out there. Why not? Give your child a box…in fact a box full of other boxes….you could even colour them in…or paint something on them?!

‘Forget buying must-have toys, give the kids a box for Christmas’ - Health - News - London Evening Standard

Ban under-threes from watching television, says study | Society | The Guardian.

It’s been a long time since I found time to blog, but I am compelled after 3 articles have jumped out at me. This is the first – an article espousing the idea of letting your under-three watch TV. I personally agree, and have done my very best to live a screen-free existence with my little one (who has just turned 3 btw). That has meant he has only a brief idea of the joys of technology, however even though I have tried to limit his exposure he LOVES playing on anyone’s phone and can’t help but be drawn to devices whenever an unsuspecting friend gets theirs out of their pocket! He has also watched an animated film or 2 but seldom enough that he doesn’t bug me about watching one when he is bored, for the moment!

I was interested in one of the comments which tries to say the research doesn’t include the recent phenomenon of apps disguised as fun games but really educational programmes, and therefore he was planning on letting his 12month old free use of his iphone. I was particularly interested in this as I can’t imagine anything more sad than a tiny little person with her head stuck to an iphone. I don’t think he has even considered the tantrums he will have on his hands when she is expected to hand back this “toy”. And here ispeak from experience. Whenever my eldest has been exposed to a device of any kind, getting it back from him can almost always cause a huge tantrum. When I am offered strangers phones on trains to help distract my son in the middle of a “mood swing” I turn them down as it is just prolonging the inevitable, when the kind stranger has to leave the train and wants his/her phone back!

And this is the problem, we think we can quick fix everything – including our child’s introduction to this amazing world we live in full of this amazing technology….all the time forgetting that on an evolutionary level we still have stone age brains and we need to learn how to do things through experience… and real life is not conveyed through a device.

I got my first phone when I was 19. It was a great thing. I have some idea of what life was like without being at the mercy of my phone. I would like to allow my child that same freedom. I don’t think that is unreasonable.

I just found this review of Babyhood on Sausage Mama.

How I wish I’d seen this documentary when I was first pregnant. How I wish I’d seen this when I was pregnant again, so I could be gently reminded what direction I wanted things to go in parenting wise with my toddler. How THANKFUL I am to see this now, when we seem to have gotten a little unbalanced with technology and ‘entertainment’ instead of ‘playing’ with my 4 year old and my almost 2 year old. As always, I’m reminded to simplify, simplify. Just as I’m getting ansy about not getting back into the workforce yet, because I would like some nice stuff for once, I’m thankful to be brought back down to Earth.

I am so pleased to find things like this out there! Thanks Sausage Mama!!

I just watched this – Russell Brand: From Addiction to Recovery and am so pleased that someone else is looking at societies ills with a view to repairing them with love and compassion.

As an ex-addict Russell Brand speaks very convincingly of the need for there to be an abstinence based recovery for addicts, and for us to view addiction as a public health problem rather than a criminal offense.

One of the groups he talks to, say that we need to welcome people back into the community, as this is where they came from before they became addicts. I wholeheartedly agree and am so pleased to see another Chief Superintendent talking so candidly about helping these people.

Just like Detective Chief Superintendent John Carnochan when he talks in Babyhood about addressing these issues at the start of life. If only these 2 men’s attitudes were more prevalent in senior positions, and in parliament. Unfortunately our politicians seem to lack any real integrity or insight into life for anyone else.

Thanks Russell. And for more even impressive speaking at the Parliamentary Select Committee…check this out

So it’s World Breastfeeding Week, and by chance I happened to take my LO’s to see the dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum and we then popped over to the V&A to paddle in their lovely courtyard. On our way into the V&A there was this statue that seemed (there was one at the top and one at the bottom) to show us the way we could go using the ramps – we had buggies and slings on!  Nicely timed I thought. Its made by a french artist called Jules Dalou in around 1873…long time ago. I wish i could breastfeed this confidently in public!!

Anyway Babyhood is also showing as part of the Breastfeeding Festival on the 11th August. If you are in the area! Hope to write a bit more soon, but don’t seem to get more than a minute to myself these days!

I just watched Plan B’s TEDx talk. I am full of admiration for him and feel there are a few parallels in my film. Especially the stuff  he says about the riots. It is time we face up to this demonisation of young people and turn it around. It has been going on so long it is ingrained and no wonder so many people can’t see straight, and are so quick to judge. I have worked with and try to keep in touch with some of my local young people, and they don’t feel like “society” cares about them.

Camila Batmanghelidjh said to me during my interview with her:

i think the political world is missing a trick, because it’s continuously described these children and young people at street level in a derogatory way so its referred to them as feral, scroungers, benefit , lazy characters and so on and what that does is that it pushes the child more into a space of shame with this all-powerful all-encompassing leading figure represented by government and the narratives of the media , its seen as having all the power. after a while what will happen is a collective of the powerless will emerge , where they all get together and they all describe the abuse of the powerful, and what we could feel at street level, was actually that the tension was building up and the rage was building up and the kids were saying “the government hates us, they don’t care about us.” what they couldn’t hear from the government is anything about protecting them, had the government said in its narrative, “all children deserve protection and care, we find it unacceptable for children and young people to be in threatening gangs when they should be flourishing and having a sense of safety”, then those kids in gangs would be thinking they are talking about us they want to protect us, so they are on our side, and your chances of then that child pulling away from that gang and joining mainstream society is greater then is you just keep that child in the bad corner, and i think in that sense the government missed a trick.

I hope that Plan B’s work and iLL Manors do something towards changing public attitudes towards young people. And my film too! ;-)

check this out too…

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